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Joke of the Day

"What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common? They both wanna get there before the hare does."

"A robber walks into a bank... ...and shouts ""This is a fuck up!"", The bank teller say's ""Don't you mean a hold up?"" to which the robber replies ""No its a fuck up, I left my gun in the car!"""

"Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous, but... when I tap on the window late at night dressed as a clown, they scream and call the cops."

"What made the world stop being Blue? The new softcap limits"

"My pregnant dog licked the floor after I cleaned it with ammonia... my vet said she was a basic bitch."

"I tried uploading my sex tape to PornHub. They told me to try Vine."

"What's the Difference between a Girl and a Woman? Prison"

"What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday? Yellow Cake http://imgur.com/gallery/FGFV1Em/new"

"That redheaded snowboarder is pretty good, but he could be even better if he did some of his wacky prop comedy on the slopes."

"What does a radical sheep say? Allahu Ak-Baa!"