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Joke of the Day

"My wife does this cute thing. She sets her alarm clock an hour before she has to get up and then hits snooze 27 times. It's so adorable."

"Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!"

"Whats the best part about getting a blowjob from a baby? It makes your dick look HUUUGE!"

"Where does an ape sleep? In an apricot."

"My bathtub is just like me. Shallow and not quite long enough."

"What dog takes the money and runs fast! A payhound!"

"Reddit is so dark right now..... That it went to night school and got counted absent."

"Long underwear is the fur that God forgot to give us."

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? No clue. Too busy masturbating."