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Joke of the Day

"The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones."

"What do you call a crate of ducks ? A box of quackers !"

"Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot."

"A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol."

"A Mexican Magician During his performance, he says: ""On the count of three, I will disappear! "" So he starts counting... UNO... DOS.... and then suddenly he disappears without a tres."

"What doesn't kill you makes you vengeful."

"What's a telemarketer's favourite element? Scamdium."

"3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?"

"I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one"

"My fine art and fragrances business has failed. The perfumes sold well, but I didn't really know how to market the paintings I'd bought. I've got more Monet than scents"