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Joke of the Day

"The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones."

"Is that a tongue ring? No... my mouth is just liftin weights"

"Is Schrodinger's cat alive? Short answer: No Long answer: Yes"

"""Let's call it a day."" I don't know what else you'd call it. Calling it a turtle would just sound stupid. ""Lets call it a turtle."" See?"

"What does a redneck and yeast have in common? They are both ""in-bread"" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke."

"I hate street performers. Then again, I'm a mime, so I can't really talk."

"So my father-in-law asked me to give the Christmas prayer... Apparently Ezekiel 25:17 is ""inappropriate"""

"I tried to force feed my child... After a while, my wife said, ""Just use a fucking spoon Mike, you're not a Jedi."""

"What does toilet paper and office paper have in common? You can write on both of them with a No. 2"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. You don't need a light bulb when you have a glass ceiling"