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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican Magician During his performance, he says: ""On the count of three, I will disappear! "" So he starts counting... UNO... DOS.... and then suddenly he disappears without a tres."

"True story: 5 year old me was asked by a backhoe operator, ""Hey Buddy, you wanna drive one of these when you grow up?"" ""No, my Dad wants me to go to college"""

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents? Roommates"

"[clown cleaning shower] MRS CLOWN: Don't forget to remove the hair from the drain. [clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]"

"My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then I got kicked out of the library."

"I got my bucket list mixed up with my shopping list Swam with dolphin-safe tuna."

"[God creating mosquitoes] ""I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."""

"Just got a blow job in the elevator. It was a pleasure on many levels"

"What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V? His brother holding the VCR."

"The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it."