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Joke of the Day

"What's the most sensitive part of a man's body when masturbating? His ears."

"If 40 is the new 20, does that mean 20 is the new 10, and if so, do I need to delete these photos off my phone?"

"My girlfriend and I had a threeso last night... It's like a threesome but it didn't include me."

"I wonder why nobody told Forrest Gump's mom that all you have to do is flip over the box of chocolates and it tells you what's inside."

"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."

"I never understand women. One minute they love guys who play the guitar, one minute they are chasing me out of the women's restroom."

"The shit stains in my toilet are so peaceful I just can't piss them off."

"What's the best thing about having a girlfriend who is addicted to Starbucks? You'll never forget her name."

"There Are A Couple of Types of People in this World Those who play half life, and those who know what the number ""3"" is. I still don't understand what 3 is..."

"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."