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Joke of the Day

"3 things happened to me today 1. I woke up 2. I met a hot girl 3. I kissed a hot girl But it happened in this order, 1. I met a hot girl 2. I kissed a hot girl 3. I woke up"

"What's the difference between a Unicorn and a cop who treats black people fairly? Nothing; they both don't exist."

"I had Taco Bell for lunch AND dinner. So yes. I've given up on life."

"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"

"[Dark Humor]Why is suicide illegal? Destruction of government property."

"Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents? Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano?"

"I get so many panic attacks, that If I was a wrestler my signature move would be 'The Chest Clutch', where I get pinned as I grab my chest."

"I hate the lack of entertainment on westjet flights It's driving me bored-air-line crazy"

"My high must be wearing off, because that cop car that pulled me over 20 minutes ago is starting to look like a house with Christmas lights."

"This month is called ""February,"" that stuff is called ""snow"" and unless you live in what's called the ""tropics,"" drop the shock and awe."