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Joke of the Day

"Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents? Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano?"

"Snowy White and the 7 dwarves... Snowy White and the 7 dwarves were lying in bed feeling happy...but happy didn't like it and got out..."

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"What do you call a weak cup of tea? Subtlety."

"What do you give a sick microbe? Primordial soup"

"WANTED: Good man, about 90 years old, half blind, deaf in one ear, bad leg, no teeth, good with a gun.. To watch my wife while I'm out hunting."

"Jersey Shore just got cancelled. Clearly an act of God. Your move, atheists."

"My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me."

"i enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that task"

"What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!"