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Joke of the Day

"Floody hell! If this continues they'll have to rename it the Eiffel beacon."

Next Joke
 
"Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she."
"I bought a fitbit that's connected to the GPS in my car. Even though I punch in coordinates to a restaurant, it always takes me to the gym."
"Playing guess the animal with 4yo. 4: it looks like a tiger. Me: a lion? 4: no. Me: leopard? 4: no. Me: i give up 4: it's a tiger"
"Schools should teach mandatory classes on when a phone conversation is done."
"Help me practice my knife throwing skills. You catch."
"On a scale of 1-10 how retarded do you think we, as humans, are? 9/11"
"Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is."
"Dudes that flip off the camera in pictures want you to know that they're tough and strong and not afraid of any fucking camera."
"It's black and hangs on a wire? A bad electrician!"