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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar and says 'ouch' Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks"

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"If you let Jesus take the wheel... Does that count as ghost riding the whip?"
"Oklahoma asked California about all these earthquakes recently. California said ""It's not our fault."""
"Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his electricity supply after being arrested. He was charged with a salt."
"What sort of cereal does Thor eat? Loki Charms."
"What is the hardest part of watching an orphanage burn down? My dick."
"How do you take a Mexican family portrait? Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light."
"Why did the apple eat itself with a fork? Because it didn't have a spoon! (Courtesy of my three year old daughter.)"
"What's one thing a woman can never say no to? Rape."
"Nothing enrages me more than a pop-up ad that MOVES SO YOU CAN'T CLICK THE X."