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Joke of the Day
"How do you take a Mexican family portrait? Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light."
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"""Will this ever feel less awkward?"" - whoever is waking up beside Michael Cera right now"
"What is it called when a woman can't imagine having kids? Inconceivable."
"Mother: Let me see your report son. Son: Here it is Mother but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping me !"
"Why did the chicken not cross the road? to not get to the other side."
"Kid wants to sit at table, isn't tall enough Me: WHERE ARE ALL THE PHONEBOOKS?! Him: U threw them out saying, who the hell uses phone books?"
"Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes WHACK! ""Damn."" A bad skydiver goes ""Damn."" WHACK!"
"Why are Americans bad at League of Legends? Cause they can't protect their towers."
"I'm no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales."
"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"