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Joke of the Day

"I dressed up as a coprophiliac Taurus to the Halloween party, but got kicked out because apparently it was ""indecent."" Bull-fucking-shit."

"I put my phone on airplane mode and now I can't bloody find it"

"I retweeted my boss to let her know that I know she's tweeting during the meeting."

"This game is like having sex in the woods It's fucking intents"

"TIL there is a gay humility parade every year, but no one knows where or when it is. because they are too humble to say."

"8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?"

"The rest of the Justice League always makes Aquaman eat at Long John Silvers so they can watch him cry."

"Why are women terrible drivers? Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen."

"What's Obama's favorite game console? ""The Xbox One"""

"You know you are old when... You need a viagra first before having sex"