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Joke of the Day

"You're so pretty, you could be in a beer commercial."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's jeans."

"I heard that for his role in the Baywatch movie Dwayne Johnson dropped down to 238 lbs from 260 lbs so he could look more ripped than 'big'. I guess that would make him a metamorphic Rock."

"A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks ""You drinkin'?"" The driver said ""You buyin'?"""

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? At toothhurty."

"NSFW My wife demanded that I get a penis enlarger, so I did. .... ....she's 27 and her name is Heather."

"I wore a pedometer for a week. Good news -- I'm not a pedo."

"HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan."

"Teacher Why did the teacher get glasses? Because she was having trouble with her pupils"

"How much coke DID Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men."