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Joke of the Day

"HI I'M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU."

"What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan? Urine for a surprise."

"Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box."

"Reddit, what is your best one-two line joke? I heard one recently, what do you get when you put TNT in a bra? Tit bits."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice"

"The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience."

"Developers with New Game Ideas ""Ok I got it. Here's my epic title. Patent pending! Subjugate The Rest of the World...sounds fun right?"" Where do I have to travel to play this game?"

"I'm commonly known to my friends as ""that nutty guy"" Haha, just kidding. Squirrels can't talk."

"I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up. I just couldn't see my ass there."

"Nothing warms the heart more than a father teaching his son how to clear his history."