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Joke of the Day

"After an attempted mugging a few months ago I started carrying a knife Now my muggings are much more successful!"

"Just once when someone says, ""Is anyone there?"" in a scary movie, I want the villain to be like. ""What up. I'm over here. You got me."""

"My wife left me due to my obsession for classical music.. I hope she takes me Bach"

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"What does a terrorist and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them the more english you get."

"A mongoose is just a goose who listens to reggae"

"Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?"

"My girlfriend asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships... Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"what's the difference between cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton would never let cocaine fall out a window"

"If I had five coconuts and I gave you three how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges."