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Joke of the Day

"*cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*"

"Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*"

"Q: What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker? A: My pop is bigger than your pop."

"Hooters needs to change its sign. All these years I thought I was eating owl wings."

"""I'm liking where this is going"" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face."

"Pretty Punny! What did the cat stripper say when she found out she was being replaced by a younger pussy?????? You've gotta be Kitten me!"

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? A pizza doesn't beg me to keep going when I'm eating it."

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? :D"

"[Jaden Smith at aquarium] ""...any questions?"" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? ""No"" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? ""Huh"" How Can Birds Be R"

"Why was the terrorist masturbating on the plane? He was hijacking it."