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Joke of the Day

"Parents, talk to your kids about grammar. Forget drugs and sex, they'll learn that shit on the streets."

"A black guy, a Muslim, and a racist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""The usual, Mr. President?"""

"I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an ""Act of God"" by insurance companies."

"CW: How was your weekend? *finds nearest object* ""Hello?"" CW: Are you talking to a stapler? ""I'm sorry, I have to take this."""

"I called the Muslim suicide hotline but they kept asking me if I can fly a plane."

"I wondered how the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"My biggest fear is that I'm holding my baby and a rapper asks me to put my hands in the air."

"The girl in the kitchen is cooking dinner When dinner didn't arrive on the table, they looked in the kitchen. They didn't find anything but Tara-gone."

"To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom."

"Where did the pirate go to college? Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard."