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Joke of the Day

"What is a computer programmers favorite brand of ice cream. Haagen DOS"

"I realized today that my bed sheets are covered in layers of dead skin cells. It's okay though, I'm comfortable in my own skin."

"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."

"My fake mustache fell off in Home Depot and now they won't let me touch any of the power tools."

"Did you hear about the gay guy who got in a car accident? Some dick rear-ended him."

"I don't care if you're a dog person or a cat person, I generally don't date anyone with a tail."

"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"

"Guys, I have to stop cyber-bullying North Korea. They called my mom."

"Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth. Fang queue."

"My Father was never proud of me One day he asked me, ""how old are you."" I said, ""I'm five"" he said,""when I was your age, I was six"""