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Joke of the Day

"Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the ""banana phone""."

"What's an epileptic's motto? Carpe diem."

"Republicans and elections The republicans wanted to have Jesus run for president. The plan had to be aborted though: he had a hole in his hand."

"museum guide: america was founded on july 4, 1776 me: [nodding sagely] ah yes so its a Cancer. this explains everythig"

"Did you hear what happened after an Iranian mullah walked head-first into an airplane propeller? The shi'ite really hit the fan."

"If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater."

"I don't know what fool first decided to put carrots in the cake, but they sure lucked out."

"Reception Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"""Mom, I don't like my little brother."" ""Then just eat the vegetables."""

"Your face... ...looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hammer."