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Joke of the Day

"Why was Farmer Bob so good at his job? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"""Smells fresh. Like a tropical island."" ""Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"""

"Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos."

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"My friend and I were hiking... Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there!""**"

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station. They never found out who did it. They had nothing to go on."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! B-2 ! B-2 who ? B-2 school on time !"

"Why do Mexicans only cross the border in pairs? Because it says no TRESpassing."

"I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back."