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Joke of the Day

"Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage."

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"What's green with a brown tip? The cucumbers in Elton John's fridge."
"my date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds"
"Want to hear my favorite joke? 729271"
"Hey, the army. Camouflage your helicopters blue, not green. You're fucking welcome."
"Never make puns during a Scrabble match. Your opponent may not like your wordplay."
"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."
"[First date] okay just dont let her know you're a trump supporter Her: so what kinda wine should I get Me: haha white is always the best"
"I have a relative who died in a concentration camp.... He fell off the guard tower."
"There's a black guy in my family tree... He's hanging in the backyard."