116139

Joke of the Day

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"If you can't hear me it's because I'm in parentheses."

"Teddy Roosevelt pickup line Ayy girl, Do you want to see my Big Stick Diplomacy in my room? ( )"

"Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2? Because he said he was pro Bono."

"Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb? Because, they're so darn stupid!"

"My friend told me I'm delusional. I almost fell of my rhino..."

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted"

"My ex sent me a text saying ""please delete my number..."" I sent one back saying ""who's this?"""

"What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger"

"How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box."