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Joke of the Day

"Why did the banker bee go to prison? Embuzzlement! You're damn right"

"You ever bark back at your dog and then wonder what you just said?"

"Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat's medication."

"""Pick a lane! Any lane!"" - I hate commuter magicians."

"""I wanna know who is responsible for this!"" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself."

"""So You've Been Drinking and You Think You Can Dance?"" That is definitely a reality show I would watch."

"THERE IS A VIRUS GOING AROUND REDDIT W THE LINK ""CO-EDS.AVI"" THAT MAKES YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS I DIDNT CLICK ON IT BC I DONT WATCH PORN BUT BE ON THE LOOK OUT.."

"Why can't you fool the aborted baby? It wasn't born yesterday."

"What's a good name for a cat? Catsper."

"If I had a nickel for every time I jerked off... I'd be a jizzillionaire!"