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Joke of the Day

"Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun."

"Which star do the dinosaurs like best? The one that keeps getting bigger"

"What's the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and imaging you are poking through Old guy at work told me that hahaha"

"What do you call people who use the pull out method? Parents"

"MOM STOP LICKING YOUR FINGER TO CLEAN MY FACE I'M IN A GANG NOW"

"Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol"

"My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher."

"Did you know Hitler didn't like to eat meat? He was a vegetaryan."

"I ordered girlfriend from Thailand who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."

"I wish I was Jewish Every time somebody farted I could say: ""Are you a Nazi? Because you just gassed a Jew."""