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Joke of the Day
"*purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*"
Next Joke
"You know what's a weird Irish name? Patty O'furniture."
"I was sitting in a bar... When a guy yells out, ""Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?"" She yelled back, ""Because I swallowed them all!"""
"Looking for a girlfriend is a lot like fishing There's a lot of fish in the sea but until you find one its just you and your rod"
"After thinking about how bad the average person is at math I've realized that about 75% of people are worse."
"[waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]"
"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."
"7yo: MOMMA DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET A 6-PACK OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA BE FAT Me: *slowly shreds Pokemon cards w/out breaking eye contact*"
"A racist joke. Donald Trump"
"Whether you love him or hate him... ...Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years."