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Joke of the Day

"There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today. If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon."

"Do her by the ocean. Beaches love crabs."

"What does a Jewish man, an Asian man, and a black man have in common? They all like cantaloupe."

"What is Obama's least favourite instrument in an orchestra? The Trumppence"

"What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific? Nothing. It just waved."

"What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common? The government will watch you for the next 15+ years"

"Girl finds out that she's pregnant... And goes to tell her mum about it. Her mum asks; ""Have you had a check-up?"" Girl says; ""No, he was Polish"""

"[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD"

"Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left."

"If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you're either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent."