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Joke of the Day

"Amy's Baking Company"

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"What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic? Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style."
"My phone's autocorrect would like to wish everyone a happy Palestine Day."
"Just saw a guy at the gym with only 1 arm. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is? Seriously, I don't know, I'm leaving..."
"Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body. When you pull them your arsehole twitches."
"I'm still not sure if I should throw out or keep my old pillow. I guess I better sleep on it."
"How do make a hipster sweat... make 'em wear a wool sweater before it was cool."
"Today, I've been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze."
"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""
"[drake deepthroating a fully cooked sausage] I'm on my wurst behavior"