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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the stock market and women? With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out."

"I'm gonna make this girl mine..... Right click, Save As...."

"OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!"

"I want to open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant And call it ""Tapas the Mornin' to Ja."" RIP Harris Wittels."

"She'll be coming around the Mountain when she comes. - Mountain bragging."

"Why are girls always cold? Because of their cold black hearts."

"Russians dolls. They're so full of themselves"

"Friend: ""Hey, that girl is cute. Can you put in a good word for me?"" Me: ""Sure"" *walks up to girl* *whispers* ""magnanimous"""

"I've had to break up with my imaginary girlfriend. I've started seeing someone else."

"China has recently banned puns. In hindsight it might be a punenforcable law."