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Joke of the Day

"What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough? ""Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"""

"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."

"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."

"Well, say what you will about Jerry Sandusky... At least we know he drives slowly through school zones."

"Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes? The punchline is too long."

"What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween? I'll be Bach."

"Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"The shortest joke about Islamic State ""Made in ISIS"""

"How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest."