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Joke of the Day
"Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet."
Next Joke
"Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets."
"When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date."
"Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance? Nobody. He was too 'Freud."
"Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!"
"I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen."
"Whats the stupidest animal in the Jungle? the Polar Bear"
"What's the difference between a Pakistani mosque and a Afghanistan mosque and an Iraqi mosque? How should I know, I just fly the drones."
"Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory? He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated."
"Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't."