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Joke of the Day

"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."

"Our Office Needs A 3D Printer Our boss asked the new mail-room guy to make three copies of an office key. The guy returned ten minutes later with the copies ... which he'd made on the Xerox machine."

"Being a sexist doesn't bother me at all. The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn't matter."

"People who remote lock their car 2 times seriously have trust issues. Personally, I do it 3 times but that's just my OCD."

"It can't go on! It can't go on! What can't go on? This baby's vest ? it's too small for me."

"My pedophile support group kicked me out last week I was getting a little behind"

"There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home"

"Jesus Christ! I forgot to buy dog food last night and now my dogs are playing a Sarah McLachlan album and googling humane society."

"What comes after 69? Mouthwash."

"A man goes into a shop to buy flowers for his wife. he then fucks the cashier and gets a divorce"