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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an old, dead, bloodsucking leech? Margaret Thatcher"
Next Joke
"I haven't been drunk in so long, I almost forgot what it's like to love everyone."
"Part two of 'Dinner for One' revealed! Title is ""Dinner for two: Revenge of the tiger."""
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't."
"Do you know why the snowman is smiling? He heard the snowblower was coming."
"So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it's okay to comment ""hahaha"" but the rest of the year it's rude??"
"If you really think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would be pretty much the greatest thing ever."
"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies? My erection."
"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."