178726

Joke of the Day

"If you really think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would be pretty much the greatest thing ever."

"You said imagine my life without you... So I closed my eyes & am on a beach with a man who knows how to change a toilet paper roll."

"Interviewer asked me why I'd make a good waiter? Me: You could say I...bring a lot to the table."

"What did the mermaid forget to bring to the maths lesson? Her algae bra."

"Last night, a man assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese. Not much to say really, I got whipped and he got charged with assault and buttery."

"If I got a dollar every time someone called me a racist Black people would rob me."

"I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them"

"What does a dead hooker and a flat beer have in common... No head."

"It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

"Did you hear some expert thieves stole the toilets from the police station? The police were left with nothing to go on."