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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you."

"Hey let me tell you an IT joke: how many meters is there in a kilometer? 1024"

"some girls give each other the emptiest compliments I've ever heard ""aww babe ur just omg like I can't"" wtf did you just say??"

"Why can't some snakes get boners? Because they have a reptile dysfunction."

"If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,""Help, they've turned me into a parrot"", you are wasting everybody's time."

"Someone at this party is wearing the same shirt as me. It's very awkward. How did this happen. We barely even fit in this shirt."

"There should be a ""shame"" setting on showerheads."

"Haven't seen David Blaine in a long time. I'd say it's his best trick ever."

"Rabbits are either running or being a statue. You never see a rabbit strolling."