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Joke of the Day

"...and the bartender says, ""sorry. We don't serve time travellers."" http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3lsvu6/a_time_traveller_walks_into_a_bar/"

"Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?"

"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake."

"What do u call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce? She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra"

"How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews."

"Q: Why can't Obama poke fun at himself? A: Because that would be racist."

"When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's."

"Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment."

"I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot."