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Joke of the Day

"I am religious. I religiously avoid church."

"I'm disappointed *The Social Network* movie about Facebook didn't have an epic Farmville scene."

"Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her ""insurance would call"" me. Someones still carrying a torch!"

"What do you call a Korean with a dog? ...vegetarian. For the record, I'm Korean and have a dog haha."

"That awkward moment when you are introduced to someone and you have no idea if that person is their child or their spouse."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese. Here all night folks."

"What do women share in common with a condoms? They spend more time in your wallet than on your cock."

"What is another way of 'saying caught between a rock and a hard place'? Having a threesome with Dwayne Johnson"

"Dance till you feel hurt. Sing till your lungs hurt. Act till you're William Hurt. - Phil Dunphy From Phil's Osophies (Modern Family). I have to get that book."

"If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie."