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Joke of the Day

"I had a dream That the most beautiful plate of salmon with lemon zest and crusted parmesan was in front and before I could dig in I woke and saw it was my wife's leg spread open."

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"Cows How does a farmer count cows? On a cowculater :D:D (ya its crap)"
"There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the right application of fonts and colours"
"What do the Japanese do during erections? They vote."
"What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common? They both died before finishing a race."
"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."
"5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette."
"what do you call the offspring of two lesbians? A hermaphrodike"
"After Usain Bolt retires, he'll move to Iran."
"What do you tell a Jew with a tattoo? Nothing, you already told his grandparents 6 million times"