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Joke of the Day

"I am a perfect role model... ...for someone who takes ""how much can you fuck up your life?"" As an actual challenge."

"Remember the old times in the Internet? Where men are men, women are men, and the national security agents are young children."

"What do you call an aircraft piloted by an all female flight crew An unmanned aircraft. Stolen from [here](https://np.reddit.com/r/flying/comments/2mntbj/my_wifes_first_flight_as_captain/cm6ahb4)"

"What do you get when you kiss a canary? Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease."

"Did anyone else see that episode of Scooby Doo where they unmask the villain only to find out it was someone else all along?"

"that's right. you know how to get down off an elephant? - you don't you get down from a duck."

"Obama calls Putin and asks abut his Thanksgiving. Putin: Turkey is about to be cooked."

"""I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you."" ""That's so sweet."" ""Not particularly. It was daytime."""

"Why did Tony cross the road? To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, ""Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"""

"Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question."