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Joke of the Day
"I am a massive massive MASSIVE worrier. I can't stress enough."
Next Joke
"What are Mario's overalls made out of? Denim denim denim."
"HR: Did you eat all the mints that were in my jar? me: No [some mints fall out of my mouth] HR: me: Yes [more mints fall out of my mouth]"
"Donald Trump said that all the Mexicans he meets love him... they are always telling him he is a cool arrow."
"Santorum I thought he didn't believe in pulling out?"
"Life dull? Add 'or die trying' to every statement. ""I'm gonna pick up milk on the way home OR DIE TRYING."" Instant excitement."
"236 luftballoons* * - adjusted for inflation"
"God: One last thing before I let you in. Let's look at your Google search history. Me: I'll show myself out."
"What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"I only drink Smart Water now. I think it's really helping my... my head thinking thingie."