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Joke of the Day

"HR: Did you eat all the mints that were in my jar? me: No [some mints fall out of my mouth] HR: me: Yes [more mints fall out of my mouth]"

"woman on death row Warden: ""What would you like for your last meal?"" Woman: ""I don't know, what do you want?"""

"What does /r/funny and /r/jokes have in common? I laugh at neither of them."

"What type of wife always knows where her husband is? A widow"

"Asked to switch seats. I wanted to switch seats on the plane last week because of a crying baby. The stewardess said no... just because it was my baby"

"My heart hurts when you're not around *buuurrrrpp* Never mind"

"You sneeze more than 5 times in a row and I'm gonna start performing an exorcism."

"My fortune cookie read ""End of roll. Replace"""

"Me: Speak. C'mon, boy, speak. Dog: No, I'm mad at you."

"[1665] ME:Make it enormous ""But if I paint a red cross on ur door, ppl will think you've got the plague & never visit"" ME:Make it enormous"