186189

Joke of the Day

"Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)"

"What's dirtier then fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring."

"I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen."

"What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!"

"Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke? You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on ""What is 'good'?"" first."

"Do you remember the ""Hold a coke with your boobs"" challenge ? It was a trend a while back to promote awareness for breast cancer. I'm just glad a similar stunt wasn't pulled for prostate cancer."

"Plagiarism Hey! I invented a new word: plagiarism."

"Me: Describe your love for me in one word. Him: My what?"

"My girlfriend's a bouncer I only found out because I saw her fall out of a window."

"I loathe tweets like ""Be somebody's beautiful tragedy"". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. ""Be golf brisket honkytonk"""