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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke? You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on ""What is 'good'?"" first."

"What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. :D"

"Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep. "

"Interviewer: Why did you apply for this job? Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me."

"I told my wife ..... I'm going to quit my job to become a stand up comedian, and she said, ""You can't be serious""!!!"

"Me: hey dad, what did you do before the internet? Dad: you have thirteen bros n sisters, do the math son."

"When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan."

"I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw."

"The guy who invented the USB connector died... They lowered the coffin into his grave. Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again."

"Friend: ""I just blew a speaker in my car."" Me: ""Which kind?"" Friend: ""Motivational."""