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Joke of the Day

"Do you remember the ""Hold a coke with your boobs"" challenge ? It was a trend a while back to promote awareness for breast cancer. I'm just glad a similar stunt wasn't pulled for prostate cancer."

"Why does MLK only get one day, while sharks get an entire week? I guess it's because they're great whites..."

"What do you call a male camel toe? A moose knuckle"

"""Dad can we get a puppy?"" ""No but we can get a submarine if you like?"" [2 hours later 3000m beneath the pacific] ""dad I should be at school"""

"What is that red stuff on your face? I said to my older cousin what was that red stuff on his face. ""Where?"" He said. I said , as I was forming a punch then punch is fucking face. ""Right there."""

"Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate."

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band. I would stand at the back, doing my ting."

"So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I'm on Facebook, I don't have money or a life."

"Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs."

"My wife called me mean... ... so I called her average."