202290

Joke of the Day

"Me: Describe your love for me in one word. Him: My what?"

"Three friends partner to setup a law firm. They are Ivanna Firm, Harry Butt and Richard Ox."

"[steps off crosstrainer] ""Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--"" ""Shall I call an ambulance?"" ""Please."""

"Woman at dentist"

"Someone stole a NFL playbook, uploaded it to the internet. All the plays were bootlegs."

"A White House aide tells Donald Trump that one hundred people will attend his next event. ""A hundred thousand people?"" Trump asks, ""Do we even have enough room for 1.5 million people?"""

"Some guy who wasn't looking where he was going hit me with a stick today So I beat the shit out of him. And for good measure kicked his Labrador too."

"What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity? Beyonsleigh"

"I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now"

"We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. - my employer"