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Joke of the Day

"People who ask themselves what Jesus would do seem to forget just how badly things worked out for him."

"Teacher: Jimmy what is a shih tzu? Jimmy: Excuse me miss? Teacher: A shih tzu Jimmy, a shih tzu? Jimmy: A zoo with no animals miss."

"I have the first signs of baldness, a friend said to me that my head it's like the house of a rich man... two car entrances in the front and a pool in the backyard."

"How do you know you're at a gay picnic? All the hotdogs taste like shit. Ba-dum-tsss."

"You walk into my bedroom... I'm laying naked with a platter of nachos on my chest. You get punched while trying to take some of my nachos."

"I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than ""you're out of batteries"""

"I love rock and roll so put another dime in the juke box baby... then add ninety more cents to play one song."

"They say it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So, I say exercise your face... Get married and have teenage children. You will be frowning more than you imagined."

"I've already accomplished* so much today *been afraid of a goose"

"I went skiing yesterday. I didn't really enjoy it. I got to the top of the chairlift, but it was all downhill from there."