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Joke of the Day

"They say it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So, I say exercise your face... Get married and have teenage children. You will be frowning more than you imagined."

"Why shouldn't you look at a cup of ranch? Because it's still dressing."

"Wanna hear a really funny joke? Whoops, wrong sub."

"I saw a chameleon today.......he wasn't very good at being a chameleon."

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra... and says ""I'll order three beers."""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already did it before it was cool."

"My girlfriend told me that it was either her or my Meatloaf discography. I told her I would do anything for love, but I can't do that."

"*follows Dreams* ~dream doesn't follow back~ ~unfollows Dream~"

"What do poor people have, rich people want? And if you eat it you die. It's nothing"

"What's the hardest part about watching a video of somebody being beheaded? My dick."