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Joke of the Day

"What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake? First time posting to r/baking."

"Why do spies never use capitalization? They like to stay low-key."

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count."

"i made the starbucks guy say large instead of venti I HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED WEDNESDAY WHAT NOW"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"I bought a nice 12 year old scotch yesterday. His parents weren't pleased."

"Why does Star Wars have 100s of people using lasers to fight and literally NOBODY using them to etch cute wooden drink coasters"

"What is the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down a girls throat"

"Think about it from the other side. Think about the hangover movies from chow's perspective..."

"Has a conversation in my head - Cackles with mirth"