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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"Bert asks Ernie, ""Ernie do you want to get ice cream?"" Ernie responds ""Sure Bert"""

"[blind date] ""I'm like, really good at *looks on hand* making the sex"" -did you just read that off your hand? ""Hey! You're not blind!"""

"what's the difference between an old greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 36B breasts? one's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"

"Time I spend listening to music 54 seconds. Time I spend untangling headphones 17 minutes"

"Why can't you trust an Adam? They make up everything."

"My wife left me because ""I am addicted to video games"".. I was so sad I could hardly console myself"

"Which company makes the best apple cider? Dicken's. Because everyone wants their Dicken's Cider."

"""I sure hope that was a cracker"" -Me eating in the dark."