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Joke of the Day

"A Russian guy goes for an eye test The doctor tells him to read the following : MHXYHDGUGNKAZ. Then the Russian says,""Read this? I even know that guy, he is my cousin's friend."

"I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison."

"And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids."

"They got 5 guys making one hamburger? No wonder the employment numbers are up."

"What's ISIS favourite meal? Turkey! Its the bomb!"

"Thought I saw a walking burrito but it was just a pug in a raincoat."

"Everyone want to change the WORLD, but no one thinks of changing THEMSELVES !!!"

"Dreamed last night the world was running out of air. We figured out how to make it with carrots and broccoli. Al Gore, call me."

"I've just had to reset my password to Delicate Luggage Handler as I was told it had to be case sensitive."

"Nice hourglass figure, girl. Wanna come back to my place and stand on your head so my friends and I can keep time while we play Pictionary?"