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Joke of the Day
"What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head? Down for the count!"
Next Joke
"Two fish are in a tank... One fish says to the other 'how the fuck do you drive this thing?'"
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped the coffee *before it was cool*."
"Hearing problems I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""
"Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Dude, I said your hands are ruff; can't you moisturize?"
"Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine? The engine stops whining after the plane lands."
"I don't know why they don't let priests marry and have kids seems like a great way to guarantee they don't have sex."
"Pick up line: Girl, do you run a Gorilla exhibit at the zoo? Because I want to drop a baby in you."
"""Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck."" -The Government"
"Says the Titanic to the Iceberg... so I was sinking..."