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Joke of the Day

"Terrible news. The guy who created AMC cinema's has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2:30, 5:20 and 7:45."

"Doctor Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something? Yes - here's a kite!"

"I can't believe they fired me from the calendar company! I just took a day off!"

"Tron's full name was Tronald"

"I spilled spot eraser on my dog... Now he's gone."

"Finding Nemo 2? I swear, if that kid gets lost again Finding Nemo 3 better be where child services locks the dad up for extreme negligence."

"What do you call a king with a weed addiction? Your royal highness."

"Me: This is the year I'm going to save money. Also me: *googles, ""how to purchase a baby elephant?""*"

"Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke? You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on ""What is 'good'?"" first."

"You haven't texted me since you went to bed. Are we ok?"